How are your people handling these stressful times? And how are you helping them? A CNN news poll just reported that 66% of Americans are scared and 75% are angry and stressed out. Here's the article. CNN Poll: Americans angry, worried over state of the nation.
Just before this poll, I traveled to upstate New York to visit a client, Tom, and his management team. Tom and his team run a top-notch organization and have their sights on some exciting growth and expansion.
During my trip from Santa Fe to his location, I was very surprised how rude and angry people were being to one another. At one gate the way the airline's personnel were treating one another was shocking. Tension and terseness between passengers was evident and amplified. What is going on?
Tom said to his team, "We have two hours with Otis. Given where you know we are taking our company, what would you like to talk with him about?"
We had a very engaging conversation, and it wouldn't be appropriate to cover it here. But part of what came out of that surprised me and is appropriate to share. Two of the managers were very open--heartfelt, actually--about their concerns about where this great country of ours is headed and the impact that would have on their company, and them. I cannot verbalize to you the way that affected me.
We are in to the unknown and our people (and family and friends) need us in ways we are probably numb to.
So what can you do to help your people?
1. Look for signs: When you see people acting out of character, rather than dismissing the behavior or whacking them, sit down for a minute or two with them. Connect. Take 10 extra minutes and find out what is on their mind. Then, respond to them. Two out of three people you are working with are scared, my friend. When people are scared, they do stupid, hurtful things. Help them.
2. Find your center and keep it: If you are amped up, your people will be, too. If you have drifted away from your prayer, meditation, quiet time, spiritual reading, etc., get back to it. Now. And, more importantly, take that centeredness with you through the day. Slow things down a little bit.
Do you remember the mood after 9/11? Can you feel that again? Feel it now. Treat everyone like you treated them when you were feeling that feeling after 9/11, where people were more real, more authentic, more caring, more slow, more dialed in to what truly matters. Do we actually require a disaster to trigger, well, warmth? Give it proactively.
3. Prepare your self internally: Louis Pasteur said, "Chance favors the prepared mind." The funny thing about that is the rational mind is inherently fearful when it is uncontained by the heart. So your mind cannot possible be prepared if your heart isn't. Further, your rational mind is practically useless when it comes to navigating the unknown. You have to feel your way through the unknown and feeling is about being open-hearted.
So here is the drill. Most everyone around you--given that they are angry and fearful--are trapped in their minds. Do not join them there. Stay attuned to what you are feeling, good or bad. Acknowledge it and accept it. Keep your heart open. One of the best ways to do that is to truly listen with every fiber of your being and noticing all the little details of life all around you. By keeping your heart open, not only do you help calm and steady others, but your intuition will help you find your way through these times.
4. Don't buy in to the fear: There are people in high places right now that are having their way with us. It is very easy to manipulate an entire people when you can whip up enough fear in them. We are there. I am not saying you should be a Pollyanna. I am saying see it straight, yes. But also know that there is a tremendous amount of manipulation going on right now. Do not join your people, your friends and family in being caught up in that. If you do not succumb to the fear-mongering, you provide a steady light for your people to find their way out of the fear, too.
5. Provide a sense of context: When people are fearful and angry you can pretty much count on two things. First, they will blame. Second, they will freeze. Clarity overcomes fear. So, for clarity, ask very powerful questions.
Do you suppose others like us have been through unprecedented times before? How'd they get through? Do you suppose that we all have contributed to this situation? If not, will blame get us anywhere? If so, how have we contributed?
Do you suppose that if we stopped doing those things, you and I, that perhaps that would help?
Are you feeling you should do something to prepare yourself and your family that you haven't done? What is that? Can you do that with the motive of simply being more responsible for your self--like the founders of this country were--rather than doing it out of fear? What is the next action you could take to feel more secure?
What good might come from this crisis? Based on your spiritual beliefs, what good might come of it?
Etc.
6. Prepare your self externally: What do you feel you should be doing, if anything, to best prepare your self and your family to be more self-sufficient? List them on a sheet of paper. Do those things. What, if anything, do you need to do to have you and your family live in a more balanced way? List those things. Do those things. When you take the actions you feel you should take (as long as you are not acting out of fear), you gain power. If you don't act, you may end up with a case of the regrets like you've never experienced before.
7. Keep pushing your self open more and more widely: When leaders feel under seige, they contract and strap on armour. That is a survival response ages old--when we are physically attacked, our muscles harden like armour to protect us, and we contract into the lowest profile possible to present as small a target as we can.
Even though we are not under physical attack now, we do the same thing. When leaders contract, they become increasingly guarded. Their thoughts and actions become increasingly separative. Leaders with low emotional intelligence place armour over their vulnerability.
Emotionally intelligent leaders know their strength lies in their vulnerability. When leaders with high emotional intelligence are under stress, they expand, becoming ever more inclusive and sensitive to all of life around them. They are fearless, because the heart is fearless. Push open your warrior-heart, and envelop all of life around you...
You are more powerful than you can possibly know. Find that power, and help your people, your family, your community and your country. Do it now. And watch the impact you have on all of life around you.
That is leadership.
