This is a follow-up to the October 7th post Leadership, Perception and Emotional Intelligence. You will need to have read that post for this one to make much sense.
“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of
thinking we were at when we created them.” Albert Einstein
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Albert Einstein mastered his perception to the point that he transcended his rational mind, accessed true mind and tapped in to feeling. Einstein had a feeling about relativity, but it was totally irrational. He had no framework for it. No one did. He accessed true mind, and received the construct for proving relativity. Then, following the feeling of it, and the construct he received from true mind, he then used his powerful rational mind for 10 years developing the level of mathematics required to prove his theory of relativity.
When I began working with the warrior (my mentor), he immediately began "working" me to see how my perception worked. Specifically, without me really understanding what he was doing, he was manipulating me to look at what I thought and felt about my own self. What we think and feel about ourself dramatically affects how we see life. So, in bringing me up against my own perception about my self, I began to see life (and my getting fired) in a different light. In bringing me up against my own perception of life, he brought me up against my perception of my self.
What happened?
When you start to challenge your own perceptions (which you do not need a mentor to help you do), you begin to see that your perception is not inviolate. In fact, perhaps about 80% of what you believe to be true... isn't. That is staggering for most people to contemplate--that about 80% of what they believe to be true is, well, a lie.
So the first realization I had was that while I believed I was seeing straight, the vast majority of the time I was not. Whereas getting fired and destroying my life as I knew it and finding a mentor were the two posts of the gateway through which I stepped, the first realization after crossing that threshold was that my perception was very, very limited. You may get that intellectually now, but until you are assailed, left, right and center, by the problems your limited perception is actually causing you, your intellectual idea is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
If you care-fully read Einstein's quotation, you will see what I was brought up against. Read it. Do you see that he what he implies that we create all our problems?
When I use this quotation in our work with leaders and their teams, I find that executives read this quotation in a very limited way. For example, "it applies only to the problems I create." They do not even stop to think about whether, to all intents and purposes, we create every single problem we face. And, in that little gap of thinking there are those problems we do create, and those problems we don't create, then there is an out. Because, in one way or another, we can rationalize that just about every problem we face is primarily caused by someone else.
For example, when I was angry as fire at the boss who sacked me, it was very clear to me from day one that she had a vendetta against me--as I would not submit to her. And she was a woman who wanted to be obeyed. So, there was my out. I could blame her for firing me. I could further excuse myself because that tryst with woman who reported to me had ended.
My life began to change the moment I saw that I created that problem.
So, seeing that, all I had to do was change my thinking about it, right? Well, right. But for many people, when they read that quotation, they make some interesting assumptions about what it means to change their thinking. For many, it means they need to get smarter, and that implies getting information they lack--through reading, study, being mentored or whatever.
Einstein was able to raise his thinking because he found out how to shift his awareness from rational mind, to true mind, to feeling... and back again. He learned that he was literally assembling reality.
Thus, to shift from "the same level of thinking" isn't about becoming smarter, which is an activity of the rational mind. It is about shifting perception, which will always enable you to assemble your reality in a different way. When you shift your perception and assemble reality in a different way, you see possibilities that were literally outside your frame of reference. Therefore, those possibilities were totally unknown or appeared impossible. The significant problem was unsolvable.
What I wish I could do for you is to connect you, for even one moment, to a feeling about to what extent your mind is creating your current reality. I wish, for even one moment, I could connect you to an understanding as to how your intellectual belief that you understand that you assemble your reality is actually preventing you from experiencing and acting on that understanding.
Listen. I cannot shift my perception at will. Yet. But I know, through my direct experience, I can feel even in this moment with every fiber of my being, that I am assembling reality in this very moment, and that I can change that reality. That is a very powerful, abiding knowing because of an experience I had while driving through Montana.
Here's what I can tell you, based on my own experience.
1. 100% of the significant problems I face I "cause." There are two factors to this. First, there are those problems that arise directly or indirectly through my own actions. Second, all the remainder are in my life to force me to grow, which always involves shifting perception.
2. If I really am living that understanding in 1 above, all blame, victimization, feeling hard done by, etc. is eliminated from my life. Therefore, all there is is personal responsibility and the obligation to act.
3. Free from the burden of excuses, I can then begin to work directly with my perception (sometimes). When I can muster enough personal power to shift my perception, then the answers are revealed. And not only is the answer revealed, I can assemble reality in a different way and that aids in being able to act on the answer.
So that, my friend, was my first realization--that my thoughts create my world... and all the problems I face. Therefore, it is no more complicated than shifting my perception to solve them. It is not complicated, but it is not easy.
Emotional intelligence made practical, the way I teach it, means learning a set of practical skills to shift your own perception. We will get to those skills in turn. But I will tell you now the "core four" are mastering the power of the right question, the power of mirrors, the power of conflict, and the power of stepping through resistance and interrupting habit. Working with each of these--and particularly in combination--does a number of things. Not only do they work on loosening your perception, working with them requires you to build discipline and intent (otherwise you will just read about them and think about using them). Further, as you actually use them--win, lose or draw--you begin gaining personal power. All of these are required for you to take your self and your leadership to the next level.
Practical Action:
1. What is the greatest problem you are facing in your life right now? Where are you stuck, frustrated or hurt?
2. Sit quietly. Pull that problem all the way to you.
3. Ask, "In what ways are my thoughts triggering emotions or actions that are actually reinforcing that problem?
There is no need to act on any insight you have at this time. Just see if you can get a feeling for the direct linkage between your emotions/thoughts and "the problem", how, in effect, the thoughts and emotions are literally giving that problem life. If you can get a feeling for that, well that then is enough for now. But if you feel compelled to act on your insight, then by all means act.