The Fires of the Forge

Update from the Field (Literally)

My wife Sara and I have been quite busy this spring looking for our new house and property. That's been an interesting adventure and very energy and time-consuming. I've owned three homes in my life, but since 2002 have been a rolling stone, living in Park City, Boulder, Atlanta, Santa Fe and now Portland. Sara and I met in 2006 and married in 2007. I lived in Atlanta then, I moved to Santa Fe where she lived knowing that would simply be a launching pad for us to find our place somewhere else.

It seems strange to be looking for property that may be the last land we own. Every prior situation where I have owned property has felt temporary. Mainly, I suppose, because I have always seen a house and property as someplace I live while I work. If work moves, I move. If I move, I change houses. Therefore, I've always been kind of passing through, if you know what I mean. Upwardly mobile executive types who've be so over the past three decades know what I mean, anyway.

But the times they are a changin'. Sara and I feel we are to find and buy some acreage, establish a relationship with it, and connect with community--of the small, local kind. I can do my business from anywhere. At least what I do now.

Yet here's the difference. Doing this with Sara, with this land, and with community--this is now my primary work. My vocation will now revolve around that, rather than where I live revolve around my vocation. That is such an odd feeling.

Yet this is not a change in direction: this is an expansion of possibilities. I know in my heart that I am to work in the realm of leadership, and in supporting leaders in making the shift into these new, post-industrial times where the current form of leadership isn't relevant any longer.

I know that evolution is moving more quickly than leadership has been evolving, that the imbalances we see all around us today are affected by this old form of leadership we cling to, and that leadership is the domain in which I will make my difference in the world. I am blessed with remarkable opportunity in that realm, an incredible company in Texas to work with, and I will give-and-take as much as I can to help them in their journey.

After significant challenges in finding this property (a two year quest) and negotiating through significant issues with the seller and the lender, here we are. We are now under contract (and through the inspection and renegotiation process) to buy 11 beautiful acres in Oregon's wine country. The photos you see here are from that property. The first photo is the house on the property. Very humble, serviceable, and it should hold us for a number of years until we build a sustainable, eco-friendly home on the land.

The second photo is looking east, out the driveway leading into the property. In the near distance you see my sister, brother-in-law and realtor at the entrance to the drive. In the farther distance, the rolling hills of Yamhill county.

Seven years ago I sold my executive home in Park City, Utah, put my skis on top of the car and left that life. I could not have imagined how my life would unfold. How my life would change. The remarkable woman I would meet and marry. The family I'd connect with in the process. How my work would evolve. And that we would be moving to the Pacific northwest to beautiful land adjacent to a 100 acre property with a vineyard on it.

This is Sara, my wife, walking that property the same day those other pictures were taken. I was walking alongside Sara and saw something inexplicably change in her as we walked up the driveway there, together. I started snapping pictures as we both walked, trying to capture an image of what I was seeing and sensing.

A man only needs to glance at his wife and sense what I sensed to know with great confidence that they have found is good--in this case, is their home. He knows in his heart it is simply a matter of him doing his part to make it happen. If you are a male, I know that you know what I mean. It is that feeling you get that you'd move mountains for that woman because of the goodness in her heart and the trust and belief she has in you.

As crazy as these times are, life goes on. There is something deeper. Something changeless, timeless and formless. As churned as the waters have become on the surface, there is stillness down there, underneath, running deep. I sense it in my wife, underneath it all the worry that comes with these changes and times. I felt it as I walked across the rolling hills of this land, feeling it in my blood as my cells mysteriously recalled what my English/Scottish ancestors felt as they walked their heather- and thistle-covered hills in a misty rain. But mainly, I sense it in the depths of my self.

As times become more uncertain--where credit markets and financial icons wobble, fears of pandemic are the news of the day, where the earth labors with ecological issues and a fever, and businesses attempt to find a way forward in a brave, new world--there is something deeper we can find. Leadership, maybe. Roots, well, perhaps. But I think it is love, the kind that comes from having both feet planted firmly on the ground while having a feeling for the direction one needs to move, coupled with a feeling for the next action one needs to take to get there, coupled with the courage required to overcome not knowing exactly what the journey, much less the destination, looks like.

I guess that is leadership, in a general sense. And for me, a male, it is also some specific part of maleness that I'm learning about.

That's where I am at on my personal journey, and as the demands on my time and energy lessen a bit as we work through the rest of the process of buying and moving to this new property, I will get back to writing here about leadership and emotional intelligence. And yet, in an oblique way, perhaps I did just that.

Personal Update: On the Move

I won't be posting again until Monday, as my beautiful wife, Sara, and I are on the moving house. I will look forward to posting again next week.

Personal: A Leader Finding His Way Forward

Yesterday I had lunch with Sara and Brooke. Sara is my wife. Brooke works with me in our business, and has for a number of years (God bless her, because it hasn't exactly been the straightest or easiest path, and her patience parallels Job).

We are not often able to get together. Sara and I live in Santa Fe, Brooke in Salt Lake City. But yesterday, there we were, sitting together for lunch at the foot of the Wasatch Mountains.

If you have been following this blog, you know that I am working through a bit of a personal and professional catharsis--I am figuring out my way forward in how I work with leaders. I met with Sara (who is now becoming active in the business) and Brooke to talk about this blog, my products and services, and where I am going.

That lunch affected me profoundly. I will post here using as the basis a revised excerpt from a private post I sent to my sister and ardent supporter, Marian. Perhaps it will give you a bit of a feeling for what yesterday was for me: a turning point. One more step in fighting for the clarity I lack, by listening to the women around me (who often bear an inconvenient truth) that I initially resist...

"I learned two things from lunch with Sara and Brooke yesterday.

"One is that as I write my book I must also tell my story to “ground” it and to make it real. That may be a BFO (blinding flash of the obvious) to you, but it wasn’t to me. I was just going to present the information. How did this come about? Interesting...

"Sara initially took me to task by saying I needed a real, tangible PRODUCT, like a nutritional supplement, or a widget, something, and build a business around that, and then share what I learned in building it. While I resisted her and what she was bringing :(, I could also feel through the resistance that she was on to something. (I am still amazed at the power of stepping in to what I resist, if even I drop the slightest bit of resistance.) But I told her that I didn’t have the time (a year or more) or the energy (or interest) in selecting, manufacturing, marketing, selling and supporting a "tangible" product like that.

"So she dug deeper in her self and sorted it out, and said that what she was feeling was that my current product is not sufficiently grounded because my product is separated from my experience. Given that I have been an aggregator of information, now that made sense to me. So what she was saying is that my real product (and what people are interested in) is my story, my experience, and what I have learned. Then, in sharing what I have learned, I can share my approach, techniques, etc. Then what I give is in context of something very real--my own experience.

"That was a bit of a thunderclap. And left me feeling very anxious! You see, I have never really valued my own experience, so I have always depended primarily on providing information, techniques, etc. or sharing my clarity as my primary value.

"What occurred to me is the problem with that is that once we depend primarily on that--something that is not us--we then can begin to share things we haven’t actually done our self. That then takes us out of integrity—our words are not fully seated in our experience, and I think others pick up on that. Our words do not ring with the power of truth, and even though the concepts can be spot on, they “bounce” off the minds of others. Others are not fully comfortable with our concepts nor with us, because our experience and our concepts are slightly out of synch, slightly ajar.

"So Sara queued this up, and I saw Brooke search her feelings and concurred. Now, this changes everything for me. With the way that I work, with the way that I will blog, with the way I approach life. With the way I will write the book.  Suddenly, it feels as if I have a lot less to offer. That wasn't what I was going for. :) But it also feels like the right way forward. It immediately changed the quality of the meetings I held for the rest of the day. Validation of direction comes in the most subtle ways. Like a whisper registers in a silenced mind.

"The other thing I learned is that what I am to do, and how, is still mostly unknown to me. The blog is helping me sound that out. And even though I do not know exactly what it is that my work will look like in the realm of leadership and emotional intelligence, the only way to move forward is to use fully what I have right now in my own hands--and that includes my life experience. And in it all, I must apply everything I think I "know" in my own life and work, and then to share that with others. It is an authentic path, it feels exciting, and it also scares me to death. Out from behind the facade...

Book Writing & What Is Leadership

I started writing the book. I've wanted to write one for five years. And yesterday, I simply stepped over what it was that had been blocking me and I started writing. It went something like this. "I am not going to do any of the other things I could do right now other than write." And then, of course, doing it.

Now I have a better understanding as to what the difference is between dreamers and builders.

I'm an Apple guy, so I bought MacSpeech's Dictate software, and started talking. Three and a half hours later, I was getting the hang of it and had 4,119 words written. The average business book is 50,000 words. I was not satisfied with the speed (I've heard you can speak a book 8x faster than you can type it), but I've always written by typing. So maybe it is an acquired skill. But the net is I have written enough to know that it was still at least twice as fast. And. And the book is more conversational. That surprised me--I hadn't anticipated that.

A couple of things came up (besides having no idea what had truly been blocking me up to this point). The first is, what is leadership? I posited in the book... that I wonder how many leaders have defined it before they started trying to improve it. Subtle, no?

I defined it for purposes of the book as follows: leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality in a way that produces sustainable results and moves the heart of people. Parse out those 22 words and you've got something.

First, what is vision? What most folks consider as vision is actually a faux-form of inspiration. The reason I say it is a faux-form is that inspiration alludes to being "in spirit", and most of us aren't connected to spirit much at all. Therefore, we are not truly inspired: instead, we are "stirred up." And what has us stirred up is that once we do whatever it is that we are calling "our vision", that other folks will like us better and accept us more. Therefore, if my motive is to write a book so that others will validate me--oh, Otis, you are so good and you know so much--then the book is not coming from inspiration, much less vision. Instead, it is a very disguised and misguided form of approval seeking.

Do you see what I mean about what happens when you parse it down and start looking objectively at the component parts? I won't even get into here looking at the possible scenarios for "translate", "reality", "sustainable", "results" and "move the heart". I will leave that up to you. :)

So, anyway, what was interesting to me is just how often we go to do something--like become a better leader--and we don't even define what it is before setting off to do it.

Or, I want a better relationship with my wife, but I don't define for myself, much less with her, what a "relationship" is... or whether it is even possible to work "on" a relationship (as opposed to each person utilizing what is seen through the relationship to work on their self).

To that end, that ever unfolding mystery called Sara mentioned to me this morning that we should explore what "intimacy" is. That hit me like a ton of bricks (the women are not surprised). It wasn't that it hurt. It was that I have never discussed with Sara what that is for her. Further, I have never clarified that for myself. And here, I thought I was pretty good at that--being intimate--and I am confronted by two inconvenient truths. One. I don't even know what it is for me, much less my wife. Two, my wife thinks it's got some room for improvement, so I must not be quite as good as it as I thought I was.

Truly, ignorance is bliss. LOL!

Anyway, we will explore that on our walk up at Aspen Grove in the Sangre de Cristo (Blood of Christ) mountains tomorrow. And, just like every other time she's brought something up like that, I will end up a better man for it.

Well, it is an amazing day in Santa Fe. Indian summer. I'm on the sofa, and there is my dog Stone laying in the open door threshold between the house and the deck, soaking in the sun. The wind is gently wisping the gauze curtains next him, and all he seems to know right now is the warmth on his fur and the back of his eyelids. I just love that dog. He's a Zen master. :) And just watching him makes me feel glad to be alive, if for no other reason, than to be able to watch him.

Have a great weekend.

My Career Muse Spoke

On September 18th I wrote about a friend/client who called, asking for help. What I didn't reveal in that post is that it changed the course of my career. I will be leaving "coaching."

That is a relatively big decision. You see, that decision leaves me with no product. When clients hand me money, they seem to expect something in return. Product. And now, I got no product.

Why am I leaving the coaching profession?

I will give you both the personal insight and the general reason. First, a little backdrop. I got into coaching after getting fired from my executive level job in the Fortune 100. I had messed up my life pretty bad, and my sister told me she thought I'd make a great personal coach. (The humor is not lost on me.) I didn't know what that meant, but it sounded good. I researched it. It sounded good. I enrolled in Coach U.

Things went amazingly well. Business grew. I was busy. Having fun. Making a difference. I learned that I have an amazing gift of clarity and that people were willing to pay for access to that gift. But, deep down, something was all wrong. My motive.

You see, I am just as messed up as the next person. Maybe more. On the surface the motive looked very altruistic. But deep down, coaching validated me. Made me feel good about myself. And that is a very dangerous motive for a coach. Why? Because it fosters codependent relationships.

This is a time when humanity must stand up, and it is hard to stand up with someone else standing on you (or pulling you down). This is a time where we all must realize that all the answers we seek are already within us. This is a time where we must stop indulging in confusion, or wondering whether we know what the right thing to do is. This is a time where we must accept the consequences of acting on what we already know within us, but have not yet acted on.

I was walking in the arroyo with our dog, Stone, that day when my friend/client called. (He's a looker, isn't he? Stone. Not the client. See attached photo.)

That particular friend/client has an uncanny knack of calling me when I am in the middle of my own crisis. And my own crisis is that my beloved wife has been banging me over the head telling me that I am stuck in what I know, and that I damn well need to get off this plateau and get on with fulfilling my purpose in this all too brief thing called life. And she bangs with German fervor and a French Le Crueset skillet. I digress.

Anyway, I was glad to get my friend/client's call because he is such a remarkable mirror for me, and always comes bearing the gift of being able to see myself in him. And that mirror usually involves unwillingness to act upon what I already know I need to do, but indulging in confusion in order to tell myself that I really don't know what to do when I damn well do. At a minimum, I am always clear about what I need to STOP doing, and therefore I always have a place to START! LOL!

I felt myself step right back on that slippery slope of telling him what I saw, thought, advised, etc. I started slipping. And then something in me recoiled so fast that it was a thud and a blur. All of a sudden, I was mapping out for him a process. He asked to call me back and tell me what he got with that process. And I said no. And that felt so clean.

I pushed the button on the Bluetooth, and it was just Stone, the arroyo, a strange empty feeling and me. Then, came the voice.

I don't want to coach any more.

It just hung there in the empty afternoon air, like a single note so perfectly sounded that it knows just how long to linger... and sets off an entire chord within one human soul.

What I want to do is this.

I have spent years now learning techniques, tools and processes to help people gain insight into themselves faster, and I know how to guide people to put that insight in a form to act on it. And do you know what? I have never codified that process. Bits and pieces of it are all over the place.

So now, I begin my new career. I am a scholar, and I am an educator. I will codify that process into an intensely practical path that enables leaders to improve their own emotional intelligence and improve the results they produce. And at the epicenter of that process, they will address the two largest issues man faces. Lack of self esteem, and lack of sensitivity to how action (thoughts, emotions and physical acts) affects the entire universe. That is what I will scholar.

So what will I educate? I will educate leaders, consultants and other coaches on how to use that process. However, like my client/friend in the arroyo helped me see that day, there is no desire left in even a single molecule in my body to tell another human being whether they are getting it right or getting it wrong when they use that process.

What I will do is to create an online community with different rooms. If someone is using my process for mapping out their vision, then they can go to the vision room in the community and get feedback from other folks working on the same thing. If they are working with applying one of the concepts I will write about--such as The Power of Mirrors--they can go to the Mirror meeting room and dialogue with others who can challenge them.

The long and the short of it? Otis Jack Woodard is a scholar. I will write the most intensely practical process of developing emotional intelligence in leaders that has ever been written. I will write what I learn about co-creating with nature--my new ally--as I write that process. Otis Jack Woodard is an educator. I will educate leaders, their teams, consultants and coaches on how to use that process. I will set up an online community where like-minded people working on the same thing and the same time can meet one another and provide feedback to one another as they use the process. And I will not provide feedback on the content people create through the process. I will learn from what they produce through the process, and continually revise that process.

How big is this change? Huge. I am not receiving a single dollar today from doing what I am telling you here. Further, when this transition is complete, not a single dollar I am earning today will remain. Will some of my current clients remain? I don't know. One or two may make the shift with me. But basically, this is one mother of a leap into the unknown.

That's where I am headed, and I am very excited about it. I will be keeping you updated here on my progress.

I wonder, my friend, as I write this, as more and more people are reading this blog... I wonder whether there is a slight possibility that you are reading this because you have a leap to make, too. And I wonder, I wonder. What is that leap? And where will it take you? And what impact will that have on your self-esteem and on the knowledge you are contributing to the entire universe? In short, I am wondering how making that leap make you come alive?

Well, I can wonder about that, but I best get on with my own work now.

Everything I do must change: there is nothing to salvage save what I have learned to this point.And that is quite a lot, actually.

What is the first thing I will change?

As I press Send, I am off to invite nature to join me in this journey, and to provide the matter, means and action... the order, organization and life vitality... required to manifest this intention of mine. That is something I have never done before because I have always wanted to do it on my own terms. Now, I will give up control. Now, I will gain the partnership of a force I cannot see, and one that I don't yet fully even believe in.

"To do the impossible you must see the invisible." Michaelle Small Wright

It is time to take my clarity and learn to see the invisible, because I am out to do the impossible.

And I find the impossibility of that very exciting.

P.S. Lest you think I don't appreciate a German fervor and a Le Crueset skillet, here is a photo of my wife on the last evening of the motorcycle trip I wrote about, spontaneously expressing her spirit in one of the hot spring pools.To me, water represents love in action. To me, my wife represents the same thing. And here both are...

First Motorcycle Tour

Sara and I took five days off for our first motorcycle tour. I ride a 2007 BMW R1200GS and Sara a 2009 BMW F650GS. This remarkable tour (with lots of learning) took us from Santa Fe, NM, through Georgia O'keefe country (Abiqui, NM), through the Chama Valley to Pagosa Hot Springs, CO (beautiful drive of European quality).

We then made our way through Durango and Cortez, CO, on the way to Moab, UT. Driving through the canyonlands was a spiritual experience. Literally and figuratively. For 60 miles we were buffeted by 15-25 mph crosswinds. In a car, that isn't a big deal. For two neophytes on bikes, that evokes prayer!

We spent two nights in Moab with friends. During our full day there in between those two nights we did a 90 mile loop ride through the canyons and up into the La Sal Mountains where the aspen were starting to turn. Sara and I rode "two-up" on my bike. That's the picture attached here.

I can see why some people make a life of doing nothing but motorcycle touring--no matter whether they are the stereotypical Harley-riding loner outlaw, or the globe trotting adventurer. To see life around you from a motorcycle is a very different experience than seeing it from the protective, insulating cocoon of a car. Reminds me of the Eagles' lyric "Every form of refuge has its price..."

Further, you'd be amazed at how many people walk up to you when you are standing by your motorcycle and just start talking. That and the many other nuances of gearing up, putting more clothes on, taking clothes off, putting on rain suits, taking them off, etc. makes traveling slower. But the connections to others and to life around seems deeper, the pace and the experience more real.

One last note. I cannot tell you what it is like to look in the rear view mirror and see your wife carving turns through mountain roads, right on your tail, and also watching her find the throttle and lighting the candle when it is time to pass a tractor-trailer rig. Amazing courage meets applied skill. I found myself often with my heart in my throat, thinking of the Proverb that says gold and silver can come from parents, but a good wife is from the Lord. I waited 11 years for mine, and in so many ways, she makes my life an inspiring adventure... with or without a pair of motorcycles.

A Brand New Day

I have started this blog to share my personal and professional journey. Personally, I am learning what it means to be a husband, a friend, a male and a leader. Professionally, I am shifting from business consulting and executive coaching to authoring and training leaders on an intensely practical process to take their leadership and results to the next level.

As I take this journey, I'd like for you to be at my shoulder, telling me about your experience, sharing your perspective, challenging me on my perspectives and perhaps in so doing, take away something for your self.

I am on this journey for two overarching reasons. First, personally, what I see is a world where people--including me--have failed to accept personal responsibility for our role, our divine purpose, in life. Second, professionally, I see a world where the current form of leadership is no longer sufficient. It has outlived its purpose. And it has become destructive.

Why do I say this?

Look around you. Virtually every system around us is teetering on the edge of collapse. As I write the US financial system is near collapse. Pollution worsens daily. Water is becoming scarce. We are nearing the day that every day thereafter less oil can be extracted from the ground. Weather patterns are unpredictable. Religions are dying forms. Within 35 years there will be no more arctic ice cap. Everywhere you look, things are out of balance. And within 40 years, we will have another 6.5 billion people vying for the fewer available resources. India and China will surpass the US economically within he next 30 years. Russia has awakened.

The result? The earth is running a fever, and we are causing it. Nature is reaching a level of intolerance, a point at which to continue to support the imbalance is to support us in our ignorance. It cannot--perhaps will not--absorb much more imbalance. To me, it is time to confront the brutal facts--we either will proactively deal with this, or this will proactively deal with us.

And the problem isn't "out there." It isn't some group that did it. Individual actions of billions of people did it. And the individual actions of those same people can restore balance. As Voltaire said, "No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible." Yet I am responsible. And you are responsible. And that is our only real hope. No one else can bail us out.

So that is where I am at. I am one person in 6.5 billion. I see a world in one whale of a difficult situation. I see the sum total of the individual actions of 6.5 billion people creating imbalance that is pushing the limit of nature, government and other systems to absorb it. I see leaders among those 6.5 billion people influencing the direction of the other 6.5 billion people. And if you judge leaders by their results, the results of the current form of leadership have us in a precarious situation that is summarily unsustainable. We know it. And we are sticking our head in the sand.

I am out to do something about that. Personally, it is about becoming impeccable myself. Professionally, it is about sharing what I've learned about where I think leadership is headed, providing a practical path to get there, and hopefully encouraging and supporting other leaders in proactively making the shift before it is too late, before it is forced. And both personally and professionally, I want to "see the unseen so I can do the impossible." And that involves learning to work with the forces of life, of nature, that I cannot see.

Tall order? Perhaps. But honestly, is there any other option but to do all that we can, individually; to start leading ourselves and others in the right direction; and to learn about balance from the only expert there is? That expert? Nature. Humans have a predilection towards evolution. Nature, towards balance.

I think it is time to form an alliance between those two dynamics. Evolution without balance is destruction. Balance without evolution is entropy. I want to live and lead in the way between the two. A way where I can become a means through which both can find a worthy vessel through which to work. I don't know that way. I am looking for it. I am committed to finding it. And I believe when I do it may be called love-in-action. (And I am not talking the touchy-feely-blissed-out luv.)

I believe that path between those two dynamics, the path that taps both in equal proportion, leads to a way of being--of awakening--that makes the words of Christ where He says 'all that I have done you can do and more' actually understandable. (John 14:12)

Given where we are, that is our best hope. We need a miracle. And that miracle is available to me, to you, through me, through you. That is my journey. That is why I am here. And that is why I am now a blogger. And I hold out incredible hope for humanity and for the planet. But hope without action is simply wishful thinking.

Act. It is up to me. It is up to you. And there is a lot riding on this.

Otis

P.S. Thank you, Brooke, for your trusted encouragement to get on with a blog before I actually understand what one is. :) Thank you, Sara, for helping me see with fresh eyes and for inspiring me to give my all to what I believe in. The fusion of both are reflected here, in this first post, and I cannot thank you enough.